Cherpumple
by xToastedZelda
Summary: It's Dean's birthday and Sam and Cas want to bake him a surprise birthday cake, but with a twist. Dean is the most surprised when he finds out that this triple-layer monster of a cake actually has three pies secretly hidden inside.


Down a two-lane highway that snaked through thick foliage, a sleek black Impala drove at a moderate speed. Sam had his hands on the steering wheel, humming along to the worst Top 40 radio station that buzzed through the speakers. Dean was sleeping soundly, slumped against the passenger side door. Castiel was lost in a book in the backseat.

They'd just beheaded a vamp a few counties over and were on their way back to the bunker. Dean had driven for about an hour before nodding off for a moment and nearly colliding with an oncoming Dodge Charger.

"Pull over; I'm driving," Sam had ordered, shaking his brother's shoulder after he had recovered from the swerve. The eldest Winchester protested but eventually gave in, falling asleep almost immediately after sliding into the passenger seat.

Sam was now taking his hand from the wheel and turning the volume knob to the left. The music was fading in the car and he spoke gently as to not wake his brother.

"Dean's birthday is next week," he said to the angel's reflection in the rear view mirror.

Castiel looked up from his book and made a sound of confusion, having not been paying attention to the car around him.

"Dean's birthday," Sam repeated. "I mean, I know we usually just go to a bar or something but I wanna shake it up this year."

Castiel's eyes slid to the sleeping man in the front seat. "Isn't it customary to have cake on a birthday?" he asked.

Sam chuckled. Yeah, right. "Dean wouldn't touch cake if his life depended on it. And then he'd kick my ass," he added, flicking his eyes pointedly back to the mirror.

"Okay," the angel sighed. "Then what will we do?"

Their conversation was cut short when Dean stirred. He rubbed his eyes and stretched, reaching his hands towards the dashboard and arching his back. "Where are we?" he yawned.

"Just a few miles away from the bunker," Sam replied.

The next day, Sam and Castiel continued making plans for Dean's birthday. It was time to go grocery shopping. Dean had stayed behind to do 'research' for another hunt that they'd gotten wind of a few hours earlier. ( _"Don't look at porn." "Don't tell me what to do."_ )

Castiel went over the shopping list in the front seat while Sam was once again behind the wheel driving to a Gas N' Sip down the road.

"So, Sam, I was thinking," Castiel began, still scribbling on the slip of paper in his hands. The younger Winchester nodded for him to continue. "I would like to bake for Dean's birthday."

"No cake," Sam reminded him.

"Right," Castiel sighed, continuing. "But I was on the website Pinterest last night and I saw something I wanted to make for Dean."

"Rainbow Skittle vodka?" Sam guessed with a grin.

Castiel's brows furrowed into that face of confusion that he wears so often. "No." He put the list and pen in his trenchcoat pocket. "It's called a 'Cherpumple.' It's a cherry pie, a pumpkin pie, and an apple pie each baked within a layer of cake."

Sam smiled, knowing it would be a definite surprise to his brother. "Alright. So what do we need to get for this?" He turned onto a different route that lead to a larger grocery store.

The angel listed the ingredients from memory and Sam nodded along as they approached the Food Lion.

The two worked their way around the store, first picking up their usual items (bread, beer, and the like) then heading to the freezer section for the pies ( _"Frozen pies work best."_ ). Castiel picked out the three pies while Sam found the cake mixes in the baked goods aisle: spice cake, white cake, and Devil's Food cake to replace the original yellow in the recipe. Next to the cake mixes were the prepared cans of frosting. Sam grabbed two of the cream cheese flavor. Then, as an afterthought, grabbed a tube of dark green icing.

After making their purchases and taking the bags to the Impala, Castiel moved all of their ingredients to a separate bag and noted to himself to take them inside in secret so Dean wouldn't see.

Dean had set out all the information he had gathered on the map table and was now in the library with his feet up on the table and a bottle of whiskey next to him. Sam came down the stairs and headed for the kitchen, catching his brother's eye.

"Food?" he asked as he caught sight of the bags. He dropped his feet to the ground and followed Sam.

Sam sighed, putting the bags on the counter. "This has to last us until the end of the month, you know that."

Dean crossed his arms and pouted playfully. "Since when are you the oldest? Tellin' me what I already know?"

Castiel walked invisibly behind them. He hid the pies in the very back of the industrial sized freezer and took the cake mixes and frosting to his own room to be hidden until he and Sam could bake them.

It was now January 22nd, just two days before Dean's birthday and Sam and Castiel needed plenty of time to bake.

Sam had little trouble convincing Dean to spend a few days away, bar hopping and hooking up with random women, as an early birthday present. They hadn't gotten any new leads for anything so Dean decided it was okay to take a short break.

Sam and Castiel went to work almost immediately after the door shut. They baked the pies all at once in the professional grade oven in the Men of Letters kitchen, letting them cool completely overnight. They then began on mixing the cakes.

"Why did you get Devil's Food, by the way?" Castiel asked, handing Sam the carton of eggs.

"I figured it would go well with the cherry," he said simply.

Castiel nodded, getting three round pans out of the cupboard. They emptied the box into a mixing bowl, added the eggs and vegetable oil, then whisked it all together. The angel poured a bit of the batter on the bottom of the pan while Sam carefully took the cherry pie out of the aluminum tin. He put the bare pie in the center of the pan before covering it with the rest of the mix.

The two repeated these steps for the other two pies and cakes. They put the three pans in the oven and waited again.

Two hours later, the cakes were baked and completely cooled, ready to be frosted. Castiel stacked the layers of cake, frosting in between, then frosted a thin layer over the entire thing to catch any crumbs and put it in the fridge to chill. After that layer had hardened, Sam neatly applied a final layer of frosting and the Cherpumple was just about finished.

The final step was Sam and Cas taking turns with the green icing to write 'Happy Birthday, Jerk!' and 'Surprise!' in Enochian, along with some sigils around the sides for decoration.

The door to the bunker swung open, alerting Sam and Castiel to Dean's presence. "Hey, losers," he greeted them at the map table. A cylindrical Tupperware-like container sat between them on the Russia part of the map. Dean looked down at it, confused. "What's that?" he asked.

Sam and Castiel shared a knowing look with huge smiles on their faces before they picked up the container, revealing a tall cake with dark green lettering.

Dean grumbled, putting his face in his hands. "Cake? Seriously? How many times have I told you?"

Sam smirked. He reached forward into Dean's jacket and pulled out the knife Ruby had given them all those years ago. "Hey!" Dean protested as Sam began cutting the cake with it. "Dude, what the hell?!" He grabbed the knife from his brother's hand but not before he had cut a rather large slice from the cake. "This knife is _not_ for cutting food!" he pointed the knife at Sam. " _Especially_ cake!" He used a rag from his pocket to wipe off the icing that clung to the metal.

Castiel used another triangle shaped utensil to move the slice from the tray to a plate, laying it on its side. Dean caught a glimpse of the inside of the cake and his breath hitched.

"Is that...pie?" His eyes darkened and his tongue darted out to wipe away saliva that had gathered on his lips. He stepped toward the table and sat the knife on it, not able to tear his eyes away from the beauty he was being presented with.

"Happy birthday, Dean," the angel spoke meaningfully as he slid the plate toward the hunter. He also handed Dean a fork but it went ignored as the older Winchester picked up the slice with both hands and buried his teeth into the apple layer of the slice, leaning over the plate that rested on the table.

Sam scrunched up his face in disgust. "Dean, you're an adult!"

Dean couldn't hear his brother chiding him. His eyes slid closed and he hummed blissfully as he tasted the pastry-cake hybrid on his tongue. He chewed slowly and swallowed before moving to the pumpkin pie layer.

While Dean divulged in the Dessert-Equivalent Of A Turducken, Cas and Sam sliced themselves their own thin pieces of cake and sat, digging in with forks like civilized people.

Beside them, Dean's groaning grew in volume as he tasted his next bite, almost making them feel as if they were intruding on an intimate moment. Dean's mouth was finally to the cherry layer and he had to sit down when the berries exploded deliciously on his tongue.

"Oh my god..." he mouthed slowly around the gooey redness before taking a bite of all the layers. His cheeks bulged with cake and pie, the flavors mingling in his mouth. "'ou c'n buy m' cake wh'nev'r 'ou wan' if i's as goo' as thif," he mumbled through all the food.

Castiel produced a napkin and wiped away the crumbs that fell around the hunter's mouth as he spoke. "Don't talk with your mouth full," he said flatly, to which Dean smirked.

He swallowed before speaking again. "Don't tell me what to do," he muttered into his next bite of Cherpumple.


End file.
